Eat it, Dutch Still-Life Masters!

In the same way Dutch still-lifers would display the local commerce and decadence of their far-reaching trade economy, the humble author would like to submit to his most gracious readership for approval the kick-ass deal he got today. In no less than twenty exhaustible minutes, battling the elements of cloudless, sunny, eighty-nine degree heat, vicious hordes of voracious fellow consumers, shrewd hard-nosed Art of War-literate local farm-mongers, our hero prevailed with an armful of fresh produce that could satisfy (if not choke to near death) the most unlikely of omnivorous beasts. But the battle was not won without great cost. Our long-suffered, weary gallant adventurer was forced to give up the ghost of nineteen hard-earned American dollars to the great Beast of Capitalism. May their memory never be forgotten. For without their sacrifice, the fate of the dear author would rest in the hands of a dark and ominous plague, the godless disease that knows no creed or code, Starvinium Artistia.

Thankfully the fair reader can take heart in trusting that the fortified Paladin of Produce shall live on! Imagine the bountiful feast that this same being will enjoy for the next half fortnight while dreaming of the coming weekend in which even grander dreams of conquest and plunder might ensue. Oh the hungramity!